"The government wants to know if you're eating a cheeseburger, which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat his fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish."
-- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

"Congress should... quickly establish impenetrable security at every school all across our land."
-- Trump

"There should be only one way in, and that should be a well-protected entrance."
-- TX Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick

"The best thing we can do for our children is to protect them with good guys with guns."
-- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

"[The Uvalde killer] wouldn't have done exactly the same thing with a bat... or a machete?"
-- Donald Trump Jr.

"I've never heard President Trump ever say that."
-- Georgia GOP senatorial candidate Herschel Walker, asked if he believes Trump's claim that the 2020 election was stolen

"What we need to do is harden schools...Have one door into and out of the school and have...armed police officers at that door."
-- Sen. Ted Cruz on how to stop school shootings

"How about a big f***ing moat around the school? How about shrinking the school down so it fits in a safe? How about putting it on the moon?"
-- Tim Heidecker in response

"You've heard a lot about the 'great replacement' theory recently...and we are still not sure exactly what it is."
-- Fox News' Tucker Carlson, 5/17/22

"The Democratic Party is trying to replace the current electorate...This policy is called The Great Replacement, the replacement of legacy Americans with more obedient people from far-away countries..."
-- Carlson previously, in one of hundreds of references to the subject

21
-- number of times The Onion has re-published its satirical headline in the past eight years: 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

"Why are we willing to live with this carnage? Where in God's name is our backbone?"
-- Biden on Texas massacre

"Frail, confused, bitterly partisan, desecrating the memory of recently-murdered children with tired talking points, dividing the country...What a moment it would have been if he had stopped a sentence in and said, 'We're going to pray for these families...'"
-- Fox News' Tucker Carlson on Biden remarks

"We're gonna do a political rallly and we're gonna honor Jesus...They're not gonna tell us 'separation of church and state.' We are the church! We run this state!...The church runs the state of Georgia!"
-- GA gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor at rally

"I can't thank you enough for writing that letter to Georgetown [University] on Bucky's behalf. So nice of you. I know it'll help. Hope you're great and we can all get dinner soon."
-- Tucker Carlson, in a 2014 email to Hunter Biden

"The time for genteel politics as usual has come to an end. It's time for the new right, it's time for Dark MAGA to truly take command."
-- Rep. Madison Cawthorn, upon losing primary